If you care about someone we want them to be healthy and happy. Yet, as it has been said, we are our own worst enemy. So for the most part, each of us is the one who is creating our own unhealthy life and making ourselves unhappy. The person who loves us will engage our […]
relationships
Do We Really Want to Get Along?
Do we all want to get along? Getting along means not confronting the status quo. Getting along means the ruling classes maintain their domination of the masses. But maybe the masses benefit from having the ruling classes dominate them. Some people still need and want to be dominated by the ruling classes. And SOME people […]
Meditation in Conversation
I accidentally discovered a “spiritual” hack, a way to dramatically improve the effectiveness of my meditations on the quality of my life experience. AND, this hack also dramatically improve the quality of my relationships and experience with other people. I call this discovery Meditation in Conversation. That is because I am basically meditating or practicing […]
Communication Skills
We all have been taught or trained to have emotional reactions to words. And we have been taught to lie to ourselves and blame others for our uncomfortable emotional reactions. For thousands of years, people have tried to encourage and teach others to take responsibility for their own reactions, and to practice not […]
Mindful Relating
Last night I went to the Trident Philosophy Group where the topic of discussion was about “What is Love?” We had a great discussion and I had forgotten what it was like to be around people who have the capacity to talk about things that might be deep or challenging. Most of the groups I […]
Being Tolerated
I guess I have come to accept that not only will I never be appreciated in life, but that I will probably never be TOLERATED by anyone. This is sad to me but understandable. The book I am writing, Mindful Listening, is designed to address this challenge that people have with other people, particularly people […]
Rejection
Why does rejection hurt so much? Why do people reject one another? Yesterday I had someone I wanted to stay connected with unfriend me on Facebook and it was painful. Intellectually I recognize that this person did this to protect himself; he was afraid of how he might react to what I might say to him. […]
Is There a Downside to Cuddling?
I often go to T-Group, a weekly sensitivity or authentic relating practice group. The idea behind T-Group is to talk about your feelings and in so doing you become aware of your deeper desires or motivation behind our actions, then share that with others in the group. With awareness of our inner experience we gain […]
Healthy Boundaries
The human being is a limited being, it has boundaries. It cannot go indefinitely without rest, water, food, shelter and the like. There are also many boundaries that we must have in order to have any quality of life. Sometimes our relationships with others challenge these boundaries and that can be good, for it helps […]
CNN Encourages Emotional Abuse
The CNN article “Should we celebrate Fred Phelps’ death?” shows a good example of someone who is pointing out to Americans just how programmed they are. “(CNN) – He was a preacher best known for his virulent anti-gay rhetoric, the force behind placards that read “God Hates Fags.” He taught that natural disasters and man-made horrors like […]