Meditation in Conversation

I accidentally discovered a “spiritual” hack, a way to dramatically improve the effectiveness of my meditations on the quality of my life experience. AND, this hack also dramatically improve the quality of my relationships and experience with other people.  I call this discovery Meditation in Conversation. That is because I am basically meditating or practicing […]

Communication Skills

We all have been taught or trained to have emotional reactions to words.  And we have been taught to lie to ourselves and blame others for our uncomfortable emotional reactions.       For thousands of years, people have tried to encourage and teach others to take responsibility for their own reactions, and to practice not […]

Mindful Relating

Last night I went to the Trident Philosophy Group where the topic of discussion was about “What is Love?” We had a great discussion and I had forgotten what it was like to be around people who have the capacity to talk about things that might be deep or challenging. Most of the groups I […]

Being Tolerated

I guess I have come to accept that not only will I never be appreciated in life, but that I will probably never be TOLERATED by anyone.  This is sad to me but understandable. The book I am writing, Mindful Listening, is designed to address this challenge that people have with other people, particularly people […]

Rejection

Why does rejection hurt so much?  Why do people reject one another? Yesterday I had someone I wanted to stay connected with unfriend me on Facebook and it was painful.  Intellectually I recognize that this person did this to protect himself; he was afraid of how he might react to what I might say to him.  […]

Is There a Downside to Cuddling?

I often go to T-Group, a weekly sensitivity or authentic relating practice group.  The idea behind T-Group is to talk about your feelings and in so doing you become aware of your deeper desires or motivation behind our actions, then share that with others in the group.  With awareness of our inner experience we gain […]

Healthy Boundaries

The human being is a limited being, it has boundaries. It cannot go indefinitely without rest, water, food, shelter and the like. There are also many boundaries that we must have in order to have any quality of life. Sometimes our relationships with others challenge these boundaries and that can be good, for it helps […]

CNN Encourages Emotional Abuse

The CNN article “Should we celebrate Fred Phelps’ death?” shows a good example of someone who is pointing out to Americans just how programmed they are. “(CNN) – He was a preacher best known for his virulent anti-gay rhetoric, the force behind placards that read “God Hates Fags.” He taught that natural disasters and man-made horrors like […]

Identification Ends Love

CNN Exclusive: One conservative’s dramatic reversal on gay marriage – CNN.com. This story is a perfect example of how a person’s identification with someone or something has limited their love.  Before Sen. Portman realized that someone HE KNEW and loved was gay he was very anti gay marriage.  But as soon as he realized that someone […]

What is Love? How to Love?

On a search of Google adwords I find that those two topics each get 185 MILLION searches a month. I realized yesterday that those two questions are what I started looking for answers to thirty years ago.  I realize now that I have found the answer to those question, found it to perfections, and so […]