I Killed Myself

Dead, gone and forgotten. My "self" is dead. I no longer have to defend it. I no longer have to worry if it is going to heaven or hell or what karma or sin it has or if it will reincarnate into a bat. It is dead, I killed it.

Boy, what a difference a dead self makes. Of course, it does not mean that there is not worry for this piece of carcass known as Jim, but the carcass is just a tool, a vehicle, a toy to be played with until it is worn out then thrown away. "I" don't have to worry about it anymore because "I" am dead.
You might ask, "How did you kill yourself if you are still here?" Well, “I” am not here, the body is. “I” am dead. At least the part of Jim that thinks of himself as a body or a separate being with beginning and end.

I killed myself by looking for the self. Eventually I saw that the self is just a thought, an electro-magnetic impulse traveling around the brain/body mechanism. When I fully let go of focusing on anything, particularly the sensations in the body/brain, then the instrument relaxed, let go and stop creating any more impulses, including the impulse known as ‘self’.

Or course, acknowledging that this happened was another impulse which brought back the original impulse of self. BUT, the power of the idea or thought known as self had been broken and has diminished ever since.

It is wonderful being free from the grip that my ‘self’ had on me. No longer is there worry about ‘my’ career. Karma and sin have no meaning. Since “I” am no longer important then ‘my’ world is no longer important. Hell, I can now see that nothing in the manifested universe is important so why worry about anything. It is all here just for the fun of it. All is meaningless (unless I want to play with meaning and create meaning for it). All is vanity.

Even writing this is vanity, but it is also a lot of fun.
Now I am free to enjoy and love ALL that life has to offer.
Yet, habits die hard and the habit of thinking about my ‘self’ is strong. Sometimes there is forgetting that the self is not real and I go back to worrying about it. Usually I wake back up by myself but sometimes it take a true friend, one who really cares about me, to stun me back awake by confronting my silly idea that I am real or important or that I matter or that anything I could ever do mattered or that anything anyone could do or has ever done could really matter.

Sometimes a go a long time before I wake back up. In those times I wish I had more friends who really cared about me enough to jolt me back awake. So I have dedicated my life (Opps, there I go again, like it is ‘my’ life in the first place, silly me) to waking up others so that they can wake me up when I fall asleep. AND, so they can also fully enjoy and love ALL that life has to offer.

Wait, OTHERS???? There I go again, thinking there are ‘others’ in the universe. How can that be if “I” have no beginning or end, I therefore must be infinite and all inclusive. In infinity there can be no ‘other’ so there are no others. Ah, then I am not waking up ‘others’ so they can fully enjoy and love ALL that life has to offer; I am waking the REST of me up to fully enjoy and love ALL that life has to offer.

Phew, that was a lot of work. Ah, but it is worth it. What greater gift can I give to myself (and all there other ‘selves’ of me out there) that to wake up to enjoy this perfect world and universe?

Does anybody want to join me?

Unholy Religion

From a web page titled “All Have Sinned” (http://www.santacruzbible.org/findingGod/allHaveSinned.php)

Man is SINFUL and SEPARATED from God, so we cannot know Him personally or experience His love

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

Romans 6:23 "The wages of sin is death" [spiritual separation from God].

Romans 8:6-8 "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."

A great gulf separates man from God. Man is continually trying to reach God and establish a personal relationship with Him through human efforts, such as living a good life, philosophy, attending church or religion. But he inevitably fails.

I find this as a sick attitude or should I say, following a sick doctrine from a sick individual. The apostle Paul who wrote the above mentioned doctrine admitted that he did not get it (Philippians 3:12) so he was what Jesus called the “blind leading the blind” who “neither enters the kingdom of heaven nor allows others to”. (Matthew 15:14, 23:13)

From a more intelligent perspective, to tell people that they are ‘fallen’ or separate from God or failures or sinners or anything like that is to destroy any faith they might find in themselves to be good and healthy beings.

This doctrine is “of the sick, by the sick, for the sick” and adds nothing to humanity. It does not come from a place of love (God), but instead comes from a place of fear (Satan) and judgment.

This is NOT Jesus’ teachings but the teachings of one who used to identify with those that diabolically opposed Jesus in his time (the Pharisees). Pharisees like Saul of Tarsus (the one called the apostle Paul) wanted to rout out any who would actually follow Jesus’ suggestion and came instead to bring them back to “sound doctrine”. But Paul’s doctrine is not sound or health, at least not today by today’s standards. It might have been better for people then what they had back in his day, but today only the sickest would consider it healthy doctrine.

And yet, it is taught here in an educated society as ‘sound doctrine’. I find that this is possible only because we have a taboo about questioning people’s “faith”, even if that is not faith but faithlessness. The only reason somebody would believe Paul’s faithless doctrine is because they DO NOT have faith in Jesus’ more faithful doctrine or ways of thinking. Where Jesus advocated that people “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48), which means they NOT think of themselves as sinners, Paul encourages people to think of themselves as sinner. These are diabolically opposed positions and any church that follows Paul’s way is following the way of the antichrist, or what we call today Christ-anti; Christianity.

To the Christian mind this is ridiculous because they have been programmed all their lives to see themselves and everybody as sinners. But to a healthy mind this is obvious.

Of course, Jesus came to save the sinners, for they were the ones who are still gullible enough to believe they are sinners. Those of us who are righteous do not need to be saved, for we can see that we were never imperiled.

Atheists

I find that atheist tend to “throw the baby out with the bath water” in that they reject the god concept while missing the underlining REASON for creating the concept of god. The etymology of the title “Holy Bible” shows that it means Health Book; meaning that it was a primitive attempt by primitive people to share what they had learned that was healthy for the mind, body and society. Atheists tend to miss this all together.

But one of the unhealthy aspects of religion is the belief in a personal creator god that rules the universe, for this belief in that leads to wars, torture, murder, terrorism and all kinds of suffering in the person, in society and for the planet itself.

So I feel that the idea is to get people to focus on a healthy DISCUSSION of OUR ways of thinking and our lifestyle choices and away from the superstition of theism.

Unfortunately, theists do not seem healthy enough to look at deep issues like this, so how do we get their attention, or how do we circumvent their unhealthy efforts to reach the youth of the world or those who would be open to it?

I want to raise the level of debate in the world but I am not sure how to do that, short of writing a book about it and going on the speaking trail.

Fear of Self

Today I am struck by how people are so afraid of themselves. Everywhere I go I see people afraid. At first they seem afraid of me if they know anything about me, and sometimes even if they do not know anything about me.

I see this as a “problem” within society but here in lies the rub; maybe this ‘problem’ is only in MY mind. When I speak about this ‘problem’ with other people they only run from the discussion, so I speak about it more saying that people’s running from discussions is a symptom of the ‘problem’. The more I speak about it the more people seem to be afraid of me.

On the other hand, I recognize that I have had this same ‘problem’ myself and I found a solution to that problem: meditation or practicing relaxing around words, thoughts and ideas. I have found that what I make important I create tension around, so to relax I let go of making anything important. In order to share my insights with people I have to make them important, which creates tension or fear.

This is all a vicious cycle or a Catch-22 type situation.

I suppose that I just have to play with the dilemma; talk about it and then let it go.