Words do not hurt people.
People's reactions cause injury.
The greatest lie is that words hurt people: that we are responsible for other people's reactions to our words. This greatest lie is the greatest travesty ever perpetuated upon humanity. This greatest lie also causes physical and mental diseases as well as creates an environment of mistrust, social conflicts and even war. The greatest lie limits the quality of life that is available to all of us.
The children chant "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me." What the children know intrinsically, many adults have forgotten.
We have been programmed to abuse ourselves emotionally just stimulated by words and their associated ideas. This enables the manipulative people to stimulate the unaware person in such a way as to motivate us to serve the will of the those others.
As children we learn to be aware of what the adults say, for it is a clue to how they will treat us. If the adults call us bad then we learn to be aware that they will probably beat us. We become programmed to react to their words. Later, as adults we carry this fear.
For instance, if somebody does not want people to wear their hair long they could say that long hair is evil or bad. The unaware person would then not want to experience their programmed response of guilt to the idea of being evil or bad so they would limit their behavior by not growing their hair long. Or, if somebody does not want to look at their own limiting behavior then they would try to intimidate others into not questioning their behavior by saying they will withdraw their love or attention if you start to question them.
Believing in the great lie is therefore detrimental to our health and wellbeing. When we feel the pain of our emotional self-abusive behavior (like guilt or fear) we begin limiting our expressions or honesty and "holding it in." This causes stress as we always are watching ourselves. And, this holding it in starts to "eat us up inside" and eventually causes diseases like cancer.
Community only happens when there is honest, open communication. When we withhold our honesty we are also cutting ourselves off from those we love and otherwise communicate with. When this communication breaks down because people are afraid to hurt other people with their honesty then the sense of connectedness and community breaks down. Conflict and eventually violence are the result.
We sometimes want to control others because we are too lazy or cowardly to control ourselves. It is so much easier to intimidate others then it is to develop emotional self-mastery and control our own reactions to what others say.
We reinforce the lie that words hurt by telling others that we will modify our words or expressions to enable the other person to not abuse him or herself. In so doing we become enablers. We usually do this because we are needy for attention and will conform to what others expectations are just so as to be 'popular' and accepted.
How about talking to people who do not have the self-love skills that enable them to listen to you. If your expressions are not censored then you will drive them away, will you not? And, if you are very strong in your expressions then will you not drive away everybody?
Yes, you will drive away those weak in their self-love skills but you will also be showing them where their darkness is so that they can address it. You will also be stimulating or motivating them to develop their self-love skills. If they are constantly being forced to run from people who are honest then they will eventually get tired of being afraid and sooner or later will have to look at why they are reacting to the words. It is your honesty that enables them to see how they really treat themselves instead of enabling them to continue ignoring their self-abusive behavior.
If we want to talk to someone then have the courage to accept how they express themselves, not as we want him or her to express.
The solution to the Great Lie is developing the skills of self-love. Self-love is the root of all love, the beginning, of love. If we know how to love ourselves then we never need fear honest (or even dishonest) expressions from anybody. This skill simply consists of learn how to relax enabling you to not react to the words, or even to our own thoughts (which are reactions). The best method of doing this is to see the Big Picture, see how unimportant the current situation really is in that Big Picture. Seeing the Big Picture, seeing how unimportant the current situations is, frees us from the expectation of 'doing' anything and allows us to relax both the body and the mind.
What if somebody is purposely trying to hurt you with words? Then, from our place of peace we will be able to see that they only try to hurt us because they are hurting, and we can have compassion for them. So the next time we hear words like nigger, bitch, dike, asshole, etc., which can incite violence we can remember where they are coming from (hurt). What these people could use is honesty, not anger or violence from us.
None of this is to say that words do not help or inspire us, only that we should not abuse ourselves because of words.
Words do not hurt people; people's reactions to words cause injury. Anything less than complete honesty, any self-censorship, is to be lying. It is time that people grow up, take responsibility for their own actions and allow others to take responsibility for their actions.