I am sure that many people have discovered that their beliefs and other ways of thinking are causing most if not all their problems. Yet do we know which beliefs we have that we do not even realize we are being limited by?
I started out this post wanting to write about other people’s belief that I see that are limiting them, but as I often do I looked back at myself first to see where I was blinded to something. I am sure that the people who know me best will tell me that there are many beliefs that I have that are limiting me and they sometimes even tell me what they perceive them to be.
I am sure there are beliefs I have that limit me. One question that comes to my mind is not IF I have limiting beliefs but does it matter to me if I have limiting beliefs.
The answer for me is both yes and no. I do care about myself and the quality of my life, so I do want to know if I am limiting myself in some form or other. Yet, I recognize that if I obsess about any beliefs that I have that might be limiting me, my obsession is itself limiting the quality of my life experience.
One thing I know is that I want to be open to hearing what anyone says that might be causing me some sort of trouble. I wish more people cared enough about others, or at least me, to point out what they think is a limiting belief. I can take what they say and use it any way that I want or I can disregard it completely, but if they do not at least offer it I do not have that option.
Which is why I do unto others as I would want them to do unto me: I offer my opinions and perspectives so that they can take it or leave it.
I do recognize that many if not most people will not want to hear what I have to offer, and that saddens me, for I offer it with love, kindness and caring. Yet their hearts are not open to it. I offer it none the less and that does not make me the most popular person in the world. I accept this as the price I have to pay for being true to myself.
Is that an unholy/unhealthy belief in itself? Would my life be better if I did not feel such a strong need to be true to myself or others? If I was less honest with people would I not have more friends? And would having more friends not add to the quality of my life?
Ok, so I can answer most of those questions because I have spent the time to really look at those questions and I no longer have doubts about them.
What is the point of this blog post? We all have unholy/unhealthy or limiting beliefs, even we Buddhas and Christs. Some of us are open to seeing that limiting beliefs and some of us see the advantage of having a team of people help us find them. And then some of us are not open to seeing those limiting beliefs. The latter will not appreciate me and I guess you can say that they are not of my ‘tribe’ or family.
I love feedback from people and I love to be around people who love to both give and receive feedback.
I empathize with your feelings here and your self-questioning. The only thing I’d like to offer here is that I feel it unnecessary for us to feel sad about how others take the information offered in love and I wish we could just skip that bit! Being human, it’s easy to forget to disconnect from our own expectations and wishes from another’s process, especially when we’re confronted with emotions we may have stirred in them or caused in ourselves – simply by speaking from spirit. I feel this is why we’re often afraid of our own voices, because they are powerful and we want to avoid the pains of new birth (of ideas).
This post also reminds me of a quote that helps me when I’m feeling a little isolated from people. I don’t purport to be enlightened or to know myself totally, but this resonates with the person I am becoming:
“People are afraid, very much afraid of those who know themselves. They have a certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism, a charisma that can take out alive, young people from the traditional imprisonment….
The enlightened man cannot be enslaved – that is the difficulty – and he cannot be imprisoned…. Every genius who has known something of the inner is bound to be a little difficult to be absorbed; he is going to be an upsetting force. The masses don’t want to be disturbed, even though they may be in misery; they are in misery, but they are accustomed to the misery. And anybody who is not miserable looks like a stranger.
The enlightened man is the greatest stranger in the world; he does not seem to belong to anybody. No organization confines him, no community, no society, no nation.”
Osho The Zen Manifesto: Freedom from Oneself Chapter 9
That is a great quote. Thanks for posting your thoughts.
For practical reasons I recognize that I cannot got to hell compassionately with every person who chooses to go there and blame me for it. I choose feel their pain and let that pain motivate me to seek to find better ways of service to them, but I do not let that pain limit me in anyway.
Thanks again for your comments.